my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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