I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
