I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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