Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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