Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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