I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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