True but thats because hes a fetus.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize