hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
