We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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