he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
