I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I have surprise drugs for everyone
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
