I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
