After last night, I could never be a politician.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize
