yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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