I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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