Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
