I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
