I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
