You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
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To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
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I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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