Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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