She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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