I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
