I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
