and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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