someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
