so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
