He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
