I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
