Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
