So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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