just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize