Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
