hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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