ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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