I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
