So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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