Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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