Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
