she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize