Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i just wanna soil my oats bro
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
