In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
home. puking in laundry basket.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
