i think my tv is drunk
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Be still, my beating vagina.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I'm bleeding and have questions
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
