Just fell off a train. Bad.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
