i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
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