At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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