oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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