I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
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Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
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with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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