Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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