Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
