Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I have fence marks all over my body
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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