there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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