My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
