sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize
