You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
