Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
