It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
