Rock
Scissors
Fuck
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
