is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
