but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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