the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Randomize
